Turkey Brine and Injection Marinade Recipe

Directions:

1. You will also need 1 Ice chest just large enough to hold the bird, brine, and ice (not too big, bird must be submerged) and 1 Brine injector (preferred), or a large (50+cc) hydodermic with large diameter needle.
2. Stir salt and sugar into boiling water until completely dissolved.
3. Add remaining ingredients, except olive oil, and allow to set for at least 30 minutes for flavors to develop.
4. Taste; brine will be very salty; that’s why it is called ‘brine’.
5. Adjust any or all ingredients to your taste, keeping in mind that tastes should be quite assertive.
6. Thoroughly blend everything in a food processor or blender.
7. Whisk or blend in olive oil, and strain about half into a cup or bowl for injecting, returning all strained solids to the half to be used for brining.
8. Thaw your turkey completely, if frozen.
9. Better yet, get a fresh turkey that hasn’t been injected with all of the artificial quote ‘butter’ unquote stuff, so the only thing in the bird is what YOU put inside the bird!
10. Remove and reserve the neck and innards for gravy making, or discard them if you are not a gravy freak.
11. Wash the bird thoroughly inside and out, drain well, and pat dry with paper towels.
12. Use a 2 ounce (about) brining injector or a BIG (50+ cc) ‘hypodeemic nerdle’ to inject the bird with the strained brine.
13. Inject in at least 3-4 sites on each side of the breast, 2-3 in each thigh, and 2-3 into the meaty part of each drumsticks, pushing the needle in deep and injecting about 1/3 of the brine deep, pulling the needle back about a third, injecting another third of the brine, and repeating after pulling the needle back another third of its length.
14. Pour any remaining injection-brine with the half to be used for brining.
15. Place 1 bag of ice in the bottom of the ice chest, place the turkey on top, and pour all of the brine over the turkey.
16. Dump the remaining bag of ice over the turkey, and add enough very cold water to just cover the bird.
17. Slosh things around enough to combine the brine with the additional water, ice, and the turkey, and make sure the brine gets into the turkey cavity.
18. Close the ice chest, and set in a cool place to marinate.
19. After about 7-8 hours, turn the turkey over, top to bottom, and do it again after another 7-8 hours.
20. Add more ice only if everything melts; don’t bother otherwise.
21. After a total of at least 24 hours, you are ready to cook your bird any way you desire, stuffed or not stuffed, roasted, fried, nuked, whatever.
22. Just be sure to drain the turkey well and pat it dry before cooking by your desired method.
23. Throw away all of the brine, remaining ice, etc.
24. ,and thoroughly wash your ice chest before using it for more legitimate purposes, such as storing beer and wine to go with your ‘wonnerful’ turkey dinner.
25. Notes: This marinade/brine can also be used for chicken or pork- just half the recipe, and follow the general instructions using smaller amounts- or make a full recipe of the brine/marinade and save half in the fridge for next time.
26. If you are lucky enough to actually have a fridge large enough and empty enough to hold a turkey for a day or so, forget the ice chest and most of the ice, and brine your bird in a plastic bag large enough to hold the bird and brine, squeezing out all of the air, and just turn it over every 7-8 hours so things marinate evenly.