1453 eve traditions Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

pork shoulder or 3 1/2 lbs pork butt, trimmed of fat and cut up, water, onion, quartered, garlic cloves, minced, salt, red chili sauce (see (to be used with traditional tamales) for ), shortening, masa harina, baking powder, dried corn husks (about 8 inches long)

butter, superfine sugar, eggs, beaten, grated lemon , juice and rind of, self rising flour, ground almonds, brown sugar, cooking apples, cored and thinly sliced (i like golden delicious), sliced almonds

margarine, self raising flour, caster sugar, egg, apple, baking powder

cooking apples, grated lemon , juice and rind of, demerara sugar, water, butter or 75 g margarine, caster sugar, egg, self-raising flour

cooking apples, peeled, cored and sliced, juice of 1 small lemon, granulated sugar, unsalted butter, superfine sugar, vanilla extract, egg, self-rising flour

water, sugar, sugar (used with yeast), salt, canola oil (if not fasting) or 5 tbsp butter (if not fasting), active dry yeast, all-purpose flour, poppy seed, honey

fresh minced carp (not frozen). remember: this is the traditional recipe. remove head and bones for the sauce., chopped onion, salt, sugar. ( yes! you read it right )., pepper ., eggs, spoons of matzoh meal . if you can tsp find it , use bread crumbs, head and bones of the carp , (or ask your butcher or fishmonger to do it for you )., sliced onion ., salt ., sliced carrots ., sugar ., black pepper ., water

margarine or 2 tbsp butter, seasoning, packet (traditional chex brand party mix seasoning packet), your favorite chex brand cereals (corn, rice, and or or wheat), peanuts, prezel stick

apples - peeled, cored and diced, bread crumbs, white sugar, currants, ground nutmeg, ground cinnamon, eggs, beaten

cubes peeled eggplant (about 1 medium), onion, chopped fine, chopped green bell pepper, garlic clove, minced, extra-virgin olive oil, a 6-oz can tomato paste, mushrooms, chopped, water, red-wine vinegar, drained pimento-stuffed green olives, chopped, sugar, dried oregano, crumbled, crackers or toasted italian bread slices

bow tie pasta or 1 lb rotini pasta, cooked,rinsed,and drained, fresh vine ripened tomatoes, seeded,diced,and drained, brie cheese, skinned or not , it s up to you. cut into small cubes., pine nuts, garlic, minced

hoagie roll, provolone cheese, onion, tomato, salami, salad oil, hot pepper

sugar, water, cinnamon sticks, whole allspice, chopped ginger, frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed, frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed, apple cider

boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/4-inch cubes, sweet onion, 1/2 diced and 1/2 in strips, celery ribs, 2 in bite sized pieces and 1 diced fine, potatoes , cut in bite sized cubes, extra virgin olive oil, chicken stock, lemon juice, water, wild rice, brown rice, frozen soup vegetables, spinach or 1 (10 oz) package baby

sugar, light corn syrup , or white karo syrup, unsalted butter, evaporated milk, pure vanilla extract, smooth peanut butter (recommended : jif), heaping tbsp marshmallow cream

softened butter, sugar, beaten eggs, grated rind and juice of 1 lemon, self rising flour, ground almonds, brown sugar, apples, cored and thinly sliced, flaked almonds