Roast Beast (Ok, Beef) Recipe

Directions:

1. Mix all the spices and the salt together. Moisten the roast with a little bit of water so the spices will stick. Sprinkle the mixture all over the roast and rub or press it in with your hand. Spank that puppy! Show him who's boss!
2. Place the roast, fat side up, in the center of a large roasting pan. Spread the onions, carrots and potatoes all around the roast. Don't worry, they're all friends and won't mind the close proximity. Roast in the oven at 375° for 15-20 minutes per pound depending on how silent you like your beef. Stir the vegetables about every 20 minutes, which will coat them with the juices and spices. Your best bet is to use a meat thermometer. Unless you're God, in which case you won't be needing THAT! Ha-Ha!
3. Ha.
4. Ok then, for rare beef, remove the meat from the oven at about 115-120°. For medium around 135-140°. Let the roast rest (shhh!), preferably 10-20 minutes. The internal temperature will go up 5-10° during that time. If you are cooking a smaller roast or the veggies are still hardened criminals, continue to cook them while the roast takes her nap. Slice and serve your moo with a heapin' helpin' of veggies. And thank the cow. She kinda gave up a lot.