2440 santa outs Recipes

sugar, butter, softened, eggnog, egg, vanilla extract, flour, nutmeg, salt, baking powder

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

shredded cooked chicken breasts, black beans, rinsed, no-salt-added diced tomatoes, drained, green onions, sliced, tub philadelphia santa fe blend cooking creme, divided, flour tortillas, kraft mexican style finely shredded four cheese, divided

candy canes, candy bars (all should be the same color), chocolate wrapped santa (about 2 tall), dove chocolate bars (christmas ones look like presents), low temp glue gun

corn tortilla chips, leftover red rice and beans (check out my recipe for spanish rice) rice.html >spanish rice, shredded cheddar cheese, shredded monterrey jack cheese, avocado

low-fat low-carb whole wheat tortilla (i use a brand called flat out), fat free mozzarella cheese, turkey pepperoni, pizza sauce, chopped green peppers, sliced mushrooms, a small onion, thinly sliced, low fat mozzarella, parmesan cheese

santa fe microwaveable cooked whole grain rice medley (such as uncle ben s santa fe ready rice), egg whites, lightly beaten, double-fiber breadcrumbs (about 2 slices), preshredded reduced-fat 4-cheese mexican blend cheese (such as sargento) or shredded 50%-less-fat jalapeno cheddar (such as cabot), light sour cream, fresh lime juice, chili powder, chopped fresh cilantro (optional)

flour tortilla, shredded cheddar/monterey jack cheese blend, whole kernel corn, drained, diced red bell pepper, black beans, drained, chopped green onion

french bread, ahi (yellowfin) tuna, sushi-grade - sliced 1 inch long and 1/8 inch thick, onion, cut into 1/8-inch dice, capers, drained, olive oil, fresh lemon juice, kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper

hard-cooked eggs, chopped, low-fat cottage cheese, salsa, salt and ground black pepper to taste

red plums (preferably santa rosa), quartered, sugar, divided, cinnamon sticks, vanilla bean , split lengthwise

uncooked rice, chicken tenders, oil, rotel diced tomatoes with mild green chilies, del monte santa fe corn or 1 (11 oz) can mexican-style corn, black beans, shredded monterey jack cheese , cheese

graham crackers, white royal icing, red royal icing, chewy fruit candy squares (recommended : starbursts), sugar wafers, red fruit sheets (recommended : fruit roll-ups), bear-shaped cookies (recommended : teddy grahams), twisted red candy sticks (recommended : twizzlers), candy canes, shredded coconut, chocolate santa , foil wrapped

sour cream, fresh chives, finely chopped, melted butter, white pepper, fresh bread crumbs, a little bacon or smoked ham would not hurt them.

salt, ripe yellow tomatoes, two 1/2-inch-thick slices stale white or peasant bread, crusts trimmed, ribs celery with leafy tops, coarsely chopped, garlic, grated or made into a paste, red onion , grated on the large holes of a box grater, serrano chile pepper, seeded and chopped, seedless cucumber, peeled and chopped, handful fresh cilantro, juice of 1 lime, evoo (1 to 1 1/2 tbsp), freshly ground pepper, torn stale white or peasant bread, a couple handfuls salted oil-roasted marcona almonds, two 6 to 7-oz tins or jars good-quality sustainable tuna, spanish olives with pimiento, chopped, fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves, chopped, ribs celery from the heart, chopped with leafy tops, red onion, finely chopped, juice of 1 lemon, freshly ground pepper, piquillo peppers, drained , or 8 small plum tomatoes, hollowed out, or a combination of peppers and tomatoes

cooked rice (chinese take out leftovers), low-fat milk (more if needed), heavy cream, splenda sugar substitute, sea salt, coconut extract, vanilla extract, crystallized ginger , baker s cut, almonds, toasted, mangoes, diced

italian sausage links (cut out of the casings) or 1 lb ground italian sausage (about 1 lb), bacon, golden potatoes, shallot, minced, minced garlic (about 2 cloves), crushed red pepper, chicken stock , boxs, heavy cream, kale, pepper, season to taste

onion, diced, stalks celery, chopped, margarine or 1 cup butter, loaves of fresh bread, cubed, fresh mushrooms, sliced, cream of mushroom soup, milk, cooking sherry