1996 flaming christmas Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

christmas cookies, water, baking soda, sugar, salt, brown sugar, lemon juice, eggs, nuts, dried fruit, jose cuervo tequila

ginger ale, rum , with, christmas spices (rum with ), cinnamon stick, orange peel

chopped suet, pared chopped apples, chopped candied orange peel, chopped candied lemon peel, chopped candied citron peel, raisins, currants, packaged dry breadcrumbs (or make your own in a blender), cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, salt, sugar, raspberry preserves, eggs, milk, cognac, cognac, dry white wine, soft butter, vanilla extract, sugar, light cream, brandy

butter, softened, plus extra, butter, for greasing, dried fruit (use a mixture of sultanas, raisins and snipped apricots), cooking apple, peeled, cored and roughly chopped (about 175g/6oz), orange , juice and rind of, finely grated, brandy or 50 ml rum, plus extra, brandy or rum, for feeding and flaming, light muscovado sugar, eggs, self-raising flour, ground mixed spice, fresh white breadcrumbs, whole shelled almonds, roughly chopped

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

brown sugar, nutmeg , to taste, cinnamon , to taste, coconut syrup or 1 tsp pina colada syrup, boiling water, dark jamaican rum, dark creme de cacao, boiling water, brown sugar, for garnish (flames!), rum , of the 151 sort for garnish (flames!)

nonstick baking spray, quick oatmeal (recommended : quaker quick 1 minute oats), butter (softened or just cut into thirds ), boiling water, eggs, sugar, brown sugar, all-purpose flour, baking soda, baking powder, kosher salt, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, pure vanilla extract, sour cream (recommended : breakstones), fresh mixed berries (you can also use frozen , blackberries, raspberries and blueberries, if using fresh just evenly divide all 3 kinds, frozen comes already mixed), spiced brandy creme anglaise , recipe follows, half-and-half, egg yolks, sugar, pure vanilla extract, ground cinnamon, peach brandy or any good brandy (recommended: dekuyper), plus more for soaking raisins, raisins , soaked in peach brandy, with the brandy drained off, raisins, peach brandy or brandy (recommended: dekuyper), ever clear alcohol , for flames, premade raspberry or blackberry sauce (or 1 cup raspberry jam melted over a double-boiler), fresh mixed berries, mint, disk or spoon to put out flame

crisp rice cereal (christmas colored rice krispies), marshmallows, caramel squares, eagle brand condensed milk, butter

vegetable broth, bulgur, sweet red pepper, sliced green onion, pesto sauce, cooked christmas lima beans or 2 cups pinto beans or 2 cups cranberry beans, fresh ground pepper, toasted bread , slices

christmas lima beans , soaked overnight in 6 cups water, red onion, thinly sliced, mint, leaves only, extra virgin olive oil plus 1/2 cup, red jalapenos or serrano chilis, seeded and roughly chopped, hot pepper flakes, capers, fresh anchovies (or sardines), red wine vinegar, head frisee lettuce, washed and spun dry

christmastide, by bessie trull law, while pines are bent with ice and snow, our firesides have a golden glow, reflected in the eyes that see, symbol of a christmas tree ., luscious cakes are baked and iced, fruit for stollens mixed and spiced, while stockings dangle side by side . . ., christmas stollen, place 4 cups flour, butter, tablesppon sugar and, salt in a bowl., mix as for pie crust., add 1 cup lukewarm milk and 1 cake of yeast which has been dissolved in a little warm water., add 3 beaten egg yolks ., let raise to double its bulk., in another bowl, place 2 cups of chopped candied fruit and nuts, and, flour ., mix until all fruit is covered with flour., add this to the raised dough, knead thoroughly and form into the desired shape.

spoons ( i bought about 10 from a local asian shop ), thickened cream, castor sugar, thick custard, warmed, christmas pudding, heated, handful of flaked almonds, toasted, chopped to decorate, grated orange zest to decorate

there is 1 christmas carol that has always baffled me ., what in the world do leaping lords , french hens, swimming swans , and especially the partridge who won tsp come out, pear tree have to do with christmas today, i found out., until 1829, roman catholics in england were, not permitted to practice their faith openly. someone, during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young catholics., it has two levels of meaning : the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember., partridge in a pear tree was jesus christ ., two turtle doves were the old and new testaments., three french hens stood for faith, hope and love., four calling birds were the four gospels of matthew , mark, luke & john., five golden rings recalled the torah or law, the first five books of the old testament., six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation., seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the holy spirit--prophesy , serving, teaching, exhortation , contribution, leadership, and mercy., eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes ., nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the holy spirit--love , joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness , gentleness, and self control., ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments ., eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples., twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the apostles creed ., there is your history for today. this knowledge was shared with me and i found it interesting and enlightening and now i know how that strange song became a christmas carol

cream cheese, sugar, almond extract, christmas green paste food coloring, chopped almonds, cranberries, rinsed and drained