16286 christmas not ahead Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

red bell peppers, cored and cut into strips, green bell peppers, cored and cut into strips, olive oil, garlic cloves, sliced (minced ), yellow onion, peeled and sliced, dried oregano (not powder ), dried rosemary (not powder ), dry red wine, salt & freshly ground black pepper, to taste, fresh parsley, chopped

pecan halves (about), whipping cream, sugar, light corn syrup, milk, butter, vanilla extract, bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened ) or 12 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped

all purpose flour, baking powder, salt, ground nutmeg, unsalted butter, room temperature, sugar, vanilla extract, whole milk, egg whites, bourbon, dried tart cherries, chopped dried apricots, egg yolks, sugar, unsalted butter, room temperature, pecans, toasted, chopped, sweetened flaked coconut, bittersweet (not unsweetened ) or semisweet chocolate, chopped, cream cheese, room temperature, powdered sugar, bourbon, vanilla extract, chilled whipping cream, pecan halves (optional), dried apricot halves

frozen dinner rolls, butterscotch pudding mix (not instant ), butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, chopped nuts

frozen yeast dinner roll dough (around 24, depending on size. i buy 1 package of cloverleaf rolls), brown sugar, butterscotch pudding (not instant ), cinnamon, chopped pecans, melted butter or 1/2 cup margarine

butter, water, sugar, yeast, warm milk, sugar, salt, egg, flour, milk, sugar, egg yolk, flour, salt, vanilla, butter, very soft , beat with mixer but not melted, sugar, almond extract, flour, sugar, chopped walnuts, melted butter

olive oil, green pepper, very finely chopped, leek, very finely chopped, carrot, very finely chopped, onion, very finely chopped, celery rib, very finely chopped, mushrooms, very finely diced, egg, lightly beaten, sharp cheddar cheese, grated, dried breadcrumbs

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

chopped dried calimyrna figs (about 5 oz), dried currants, brandy, sugar, all purpose flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, ground cinnamon, ground allspice, ground nutmeg, prune juice (2/3 cup), buttermilk, unsalted butter, melted, cooled, eggs, whipping cream, unsalted butter , cut into pieces, bittersweet (not unsweetened ) or semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped, chilled sour cream, chopped toasted walnuts, walnut halves, toasted

whole wheat flour (or use all-purpose), oats (not instant ), brown sugar, baking soda, melted butter (or margarine, but butter is best), mincemeat

spaghetti (not angel hair), flat anchovies, canola oil, olive oil, plain breadcrumbs

soft shortening (not butter), dark brown sugar, dark molasses, cold water, all-purpose flour, salt, cinnamon, allspice, ground ginger, baking soda, cold water, raisins, candied ginger, candied cherry

sugar, eggs, shortening, sour cream, vanilla, flour (this can vary a bit. it should be dry enough to roll out and not be messy, but moist enough not to b), salt, baking soda

butter, cool but not cold (unsalted ), brown sugar, egg (room temperature ), water (room temperature ), vanilla, whole wheat flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, oatmeal, uncooked (quick ), chocolate, chopped (70% cocoa), dried cranberries (sweetened ), almonds, chopped

pointed sugar ice cream cones (not waffle cones), decorative candies , for tree decorations, powdered sugar, margarine, milk, vanilla extract