3151 chef john christmas Recipes

brine, boiling water, brown sugar, kosher salt, kosher salt, ground black pepper, ground allspice, bay leaf, chopped celery, yellow onion, chopped, garlic, peeled, water, water , or as needed, thick) boneless center-cut pork loin chops, glaze, brown sugar, dijon mustard, cayenne pepper, or more to taste, vegetable oil

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

chef boyardee beefaroni, fire roasted diced tomatoes, drained, tomato sauce-no salt added, reduced sodium dark red kidney beans, drained, rinsed, rosarita premium whole pinto beans, drained, rinsed, gebhardt chili powder, ground cumin

pam original no-stick cooking spray, chef boyardee beefaroni, diced tomatoes, drained, tomato ketchup, chopped dill pickles, prepared yellow mustard, shredded reduced fat cheddar cheese, hamburger bun with sesame seeds, torn into small pieces

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

water, frozen black-eyed peas, dried thyme, bay leaves, chopped sun-dried tomatoes , packed without oil, hot pepper sauce (such as cajun chef), hot cooked cavatappi (about 6 oz uncooked spiral-shaped pasta), sliced green onions, chopped fresh parsley, very thinly sliced prosciutto or lean ham, chopped, hot pepper sauce (such as cajun chef), extra-virgin olive oil, dry mustard, chopped fresh green chile or canned chopped green chiles, drained, garlic cloves, minced

butter, green onions, white and light green parts only, thinly sliced, garlic, minced, salt, artichoke hearts, drained and chopped, frozen chopped spinach , thawed, drained and squeezed dry, cream cheese, shredded gruyere cheese, grated parmigiano-reggiano cheese, hot sauce, ground nutmeg, salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste, shredded mozzarella cheese

eggs, white sugar, water, red jalapeno pepper, sliced into thin rings, cream cheese, mayonnaise, sriracha or to taste, dijon mustard, rice vinegar, salt and ground black pepper to taste, chopped chives

bacon, chopped, jalapeno pepper, seeded and minced, diced red pepper, diced celery, minced garlic, chopped green onions, white and pale green parts only, minced clams, drained with juice reserved, minced clams, drained, cream cheese, lemon, freshly ground black pepper to taste, hot sauce to taste, chopped bacon for garnish, chopped green onion for garnish, buttery crackers

all-purpose flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda, unsalted butter , chilled in freezer and cut into thin slices, cold buttermilk, buttermilk for brushing

all-purpose flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, butter, softened, ripe bananas, mashed, white sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, milk, chopped walnuts, semisweet chocolate chips

all-purpose flour, brown sugar, white sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, pumpkin puree, ground cinnamon, ground ginger, ground allspice, egg, milk, vegetable oil, lemon juice, grated lemon zest, vegetable oil

whole smoked goose, water, red wine, whole star anise, aged balsamic vinegar, blackberry jam, ground black pepper, salt to taste, cold butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes, salt and ground black pepper to taste

john dory or sea bass fillets, olive oil, dry white wine, canned anchovies, drained, finely chopped, chilled butter , cut into pieces, fried fennel, chopped fresh italian parsley

john dory fillets, scampi tails, shells removed, all-purpose flour, extra-virgin olive oil, salt and pepper, freshly made clarified butter, chopped fresh curly parsley leaves, chopped cucumber, capers, worcestershire sauce, fresh lemon juice, fresh tomato sauce

chef boyardee pizza, pizza cheese, onion sliced, turkey pepperoni, fresh veggies or toppings

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.