35986 jonathan night christmas toast Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

toasted coconut marshmallows, chocolate cake mix, water, oil, eggs

skyy infusions pineapple vodka, toasted coconut, amaretto, sour mix, fresh pineapple, coconut milk, bitters

toasted sesame oil, lower-sodium soy sauce, canola mayonnaise

toasted nut oil (almond, hazelnut, or walnut), white wine vinegar, rinsed and crisped salad greens (about 2qt.)

christmas plum pudding or 200 g christmas cake, brandy, icing sugar, egg white, dragees (silver balls)

white sugar, water, ground cinnamon, vanilla extract, white bread, toasted and cut into cubes, raisins, chopped walnuts, shredded colby longhorn cheese

margarine, brown sugar, thickly sliced bread, eggs, beaten, skim milk, cinnamon

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

toasted pecans , halves, butter, powdered sugar, vanilla, kosher salt, flour

margarine, brown sugar, texas toast thick bread or 4 slices thickly sliced bread, eggs, beaten, skim milk, cinnamon

just a week before christmas i had a visitor. this is how it happened. i had just finished the household chores for the night and was preparing to go to bed, when i heard a noise in the front of the house. i opened the door to the front room, and to my surprise, santa himself stepped out from behind the christmas tree. he placed his finger over his mouth so i would not cry out., what are you doing i started to ask., words choked up in my throat , and i saw that he had tears in his eyes. his usual jolly manner was gone. gone was the eager, boisterous soul we all know. he then answered me with a simple statement: teach the children, i was puzzled , what did he mean, he anticipated my question , and with 1 quick movement brought forth a miniature toy bag from behind the tree. as i stood bewildered, santa said, teach the children. teach them the real meaning of christmas. the meaning of christmas that nowadays has been forgotten., santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a fir tree and placed it before the mantle. teach the children that the pure green color of the stately fir tree remains green all year round, depicting the everlasting hope of mankind. all the needles point heavenward, making it a symbol of man s thoughts turning toward heaven., he again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant star. teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of promises long ago. god promised a savior for the world, and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of his promise., he then reached into his bag and pulled out a candle. teach the children that the candle symbolizes that christ is the light of the world, and when we see this great light, we are reminded of he who displaces the darkness., once again he reached into his bag and removed a wreath and placed it on the tree. teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the real nature of love christ showed for us. real love never ceases. love is 1 continuous round of affection., he then pulled from his bag an ornament of himself. teach the children that i , santa claus, symbolize the generosity and good will we feel during the month of december., he then brought out a holly leaf. teach the children that the holly plant represents immortality. it represents the crown of thorns worn by our savior. the red holly berries represent the blood that he shed for us., next he pulled from his bag a gift and said, teach the children that god so loved the world that whoever believes in him shall have everlasting life. (john 3:16) thanks be to god for his unspeakable gift. teach the children that the wise men bowed before the holy babe and presented him with gold, frankincense and myrrh. we should always give gifts in the same spirit of the wise men., santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a candy cane and hung it on the tree. teach the children that the candy cane represents the shepherd s crook. the crook on the staff helps to bring strayed sheep back to the flock. the candy cane is the symbol that we are our brother s keeper., he reached in again and pulled out an angel. teach the children that it was the angels that heralded the glorious news of the savior s birth. the angels sang glory to god in the highest and on earth peace to men of good will., suddenly i heard a soft tinkling sound , and from his bag he pulled out a bell. teach the children that as the lost sheep are found by the sound of the bell, it should bring mankind to the fold. the bell symbolizes guidance and return., santa looked around and was pleased. he looked back at me and i saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes. he said, remember, teach the children the true meaning of christmas and do not put me in the center for i am but a humble servant of the 1 that is, and i bow down to worship him, our lord, our god, and savior.

vegetable broth, bulgur, sweet red pepper, sliced green onion, pesto sauce, cooked christmas lima beans or 2 cups pinto beans or 2 cups cranberry beans, fresh ground pepper, toasted bread , slices

spoons ( i bought about 10 from a local asian shop ), thickened cream, castor sugar, thick custard, warmed, christmas pudding, heated, handful of flaked almonds, toasted, chopped to decorate, grated orange zest to decorate

chopped dried calimyrna figs (about 5 oz), dried currants, brandy, sugar, all purpose flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, ground cinnamon, ground allspice, ground nutmeg, prune juice (2/3 cup), buttermilk, unsalted butter, melted, cooled, eggs, whipping cream, unsalted butter , cut into pieces, bittersweet (not unsweetened ) or semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped, chilled sour cream, chopped toasted walnuts, walnut halves, toasted

butter, brown sugar -- packed, egg yolk, vanilla, all-purpose flour, dairy sour cream, brown sugar -- packed, vanilla, pecan halves -- toasted, pecan, toasted -- chopped